Episode 7: Forgiveness Isn’t About Them—It’s About You

Let’s talk about it:

Forgiveness has been distorted.
We were taught that to forgive means to trust again.
To reconcile.
To be soft.
To “move on.”

But that’s not what forgiveness really is.
Forgiveness is energetic disentanglement.
It’s the moment you say: “I matter more than this pain.”

🔥 What Forgiveness Is—and What It’s Not

It’s not:
❌ Forgetting what happened
❌ Saying it was okay
❌ Letting someone back in
❌ Spiritual bypassing in disguise

It is:
✅ Choosing peace over poison
✅ Closing the energy loop
✅ Freeing yourself without needing anything from them

“Forgiveness is not a reward for them. It’s a reclamation for you.”

✨ Entanglement: What’s Draining You That You Can’t See

Resentment.
Fantasy reconciliation.
Replaying conversations in your head.
Still checking their feed.
Still adjusting your energy in case they come back.

That’s entanglement.

You’re giving them your energy without even realizing it.

💬 “I Set Myself Free” Ritual

This practice isn’t about pretending it didn’t happen. It’s about clearing the weight from your body.

Bring someone to mind—someone who hurt you, disappointed you, or betrayed you.
Then say:

“I don’t condone what happened.
I don’t deny what it cost me.
But I am done letting it live in my body.
I forgive you—not to set you free, but to set me free.
I choose peace over poison.
I choose closure without apology.
I set myself free.”

Repeat as needed. This is not performance. It’s practice.

🧠 My Story: Forgiving Without Permission

I was married at 18.
It was abusive.
By 20, I had lost pregnancies, my self-trust, and almost my sense of being.

Decades later, I realized:
He was still renting space in my body.
I was still scanning rooms for exits.
Still rehearsing fights that would never happen.

Until one day I did the ritual. I wrote the story. I read it to a therapist. I burned the robe, the earrings, the letter.

And I whispered:

“I wish you peace.”

Not because he earned it.
Because I did.

🗝️ This Week’s Invitation

Ask yourself:

  • What pain am I keeping alive in the name of protection?

  • Am I ready to forgive—not for them, but for me?

You don’t need their apology.
You don’t need closure in a conversation.
You need you back.


I see the Light in you, and it is brilliant. I want you to see it too!

Brightest of blessings,

Dawn xo

Your Contrarian Soul Guide

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Episode 8: Can You Forgive Yourself? The Truth About Shame, Survival, and Compassion

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Episode 6: The Weight You Were Never Meant to Carry: Reclaiming the Self Beneath Resentment